Today’s slow drag is with “Worthless Thing,” from “Goodbye Cruel World,” released in 1984. The songwriting is credited to Elvis Costello. “Worthless Thing” is a brilliant commentary piece that also ties back to Mr. Costello’s roots as it narrates the state of affairs in a once faraway place. How many times can you jump out of the cupboard Before someone gets suspicious or someone gets discovered You can live forever in a split second of fame Come on down, the price is right, what's your name While a crocodile makes good shoes and a dog may change his coat I can't change what's written on your face tonight and I quote There’s a lot to unpack in this impeccably structured aa/bb/cc verse. To begin, playing on the notion of incriminating secrets, the British-centric version of “having a skeleton in your closet” warns how you just might be revealed for the imperfect imposter that you might be. And then it moves into the American landscape of daytime television. Obscure interpretations aside, this one seems fairly uncloaked. Crocodiles and dogs, on the other hand, are up for interpretation, and are probably much more pliable than a stone tablet of a face, of which he promises to quote: Oh, I wish you could see Quite how much you could mean to me You worthless thing If you were ten feet taller and almost handsome I might pay this king's ransom You worthless thing Juxtaposing something of no perceptible value with that of the utmost, yet unspecified, value, brings this piece to life. There’s a familiar pettiness to it. It’s a hormonal spike that feels more like self flagellation than outside scorn. They commit blue murder along Union Avenue Then they sell you souvenir matches Nightclubs full of grave robbers from Memphis, Tennessee And Las Vegas body snatchers And he's carrying a warning, can't you see how his eyes glint? Keep your bloody hands off my life, your affectionate fingerprints As opposed to the American version of the idiom, to “scream bloody murder,” the UK version, strangely enough, is to “scream blue murder.” Strategically changing “scream” to “commit,” the twist on this idiom proves keenly descriptive with up-and-coming singers belting it out it in Sam Phillips’ Sun Studio, located on 706 Union Avenue in Memphis, Tennessee, affectionately known as “the birthplace of rock’n’roll.” The building is now a museum of sorts, a place where you can “stand in the very spot that Elvis first recorded.” For our purposes, we must clarify that is the American version, not our beloved British version of Elvis. It must be strange and a bit brassy to write about Elvis impersonators whilst appropriating the Elvis name in order to make it your own. It’s fantastic to think now of a time when Elvis Costello was viewed so wearily, when each of his magnificent lines were scoured for any indication of who the “real” Elvis was behind all these bombastic lyrics. If for whatever reason you feel as if you need to deviate from your own vision, from who you truly are, think back to all the pressure this towering icon of individually must have been under to acquiesce. I’m not alone in blessing whatever’s in the sky above for his fortitude. All the cars and pills and girls who tore his shirt to tatters Do you know how tall he was 'cos that is all that really matters? Do you know his mother's last name, do you think that he's divine? You've seen the film, you've read the book You're drinking vintage Elvis Presley wine A cautionary tale, perhaps? Or maybe just reveling in the spectacle of it all. When you make it big, there is no detail too sacred, no substrate that can’t be emblazoned with your likeness. Unless I’ve overlooked an earlier mention, so correct me if I’m mistaken, but this is the first time Elvis Presley’s name has been evoked in an Elvis Costello piece. “Elvis and Puccini shall return” from “The Juliet Letters,” “Damnation Cellar,” and “in a certain light he looked like Elvis” from “The Delivery Man,” as well as a few other references, will follow in this bold tradition. Bored out of your tiny mind while life is twice as large They'll cut her down to size on television She's available and beautiful, but with more time to devote They're going to take this cable now and stick it down your throat So this is an obituary which should be right and fitting For every clockwork cat and conceivable kitten The rhyming pair of devote/throat and fitting/kitten swirl around this verse as the images distort and conform. The contradiction of being available, yet then proclaiming to have “more time to devote” rings a dissonant chord as we piece together cable, television, and why it’s a fitting obituary, or an obituary at all, for all these cats and kittens. Oh, I wish you could see Quite how much you could mean to me You worthless thing If you were ten feet taller and almost handsome I might pay this king's ransom You worthless thing — Dig it Again, this has been a slow drag with “Worthless Thing” from 1984’s “Goodbye Cruel World.” Having once used fairly UK-centric idioms and expressions, such as the song entitled, “Riot Act” from “Get Happy!!”, Mr. Oswald from “My Aim is True’s” “Less Than Zero,” and first line of “The Beat,” “we’re all going on a summer holiday,” from “This Year’s Model,” in this piece Mr. Costello is clearly referring to the United States, our trash TV, and the mecca that is Memphis. Peaking with “Imperial Bedroom,” perhaps, it seemed the more of the world that was seen, the less and less UK-centric idiom busting has been found in his work. It’s not gone completely, mind you, just not as prevalent as it once was. This, in part, is what makes “Worthless Thing” so special. It’s world weary and wide eyed at the same time. A rare feat to pull off, to be sure. And that’s it for today’s slow drag, my friend. Thank you for listening. I encourage you to re-listen to Episode 6 of “Slow Drag with Remedy,” “Don’t Let Them See You Crying,” a slow drag with “Joe Porterhouse,” and Episode 30, and “The Bells Take Their Toll,” a slow drag with “Peace in Our Time.” Both episodes are slow drags with more gems from “Goodbye Cruel World.” What a cruel world it would have been indeed had Mr. Costello retired after this album. So, until next time, adieu, my little ballyhoo. Comments are closed.
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AboutSlow Drag with Remedy is an Elvis Costello podcast appreciation. It's an exploration of linguistics, language, poetry, and clever wordplay as framed by the peerless poetry of the modern-day master, Elvis Costello. Slow Drag by Song
Poor Napoleon Alibi Church Underground The Big Light Georgie and Her Rival Joe Porterhouse No Hiding Place 20% Amnesia All This Useless Beauty Let Him Dangle King of Thieves Damnation's Cellar Stripping Paper Pidgin English Riot Act Bedlam The Quickening Art Luxembourg Chemistry Class Living in Paradise My Mood Swings Waiting for the End of the World Little Atoms Two Little Hitlers Crimes of Paris You Tripped at Every Step Needle Time Men Called Uncle Peace in Our Time The Loved Ones I Almost Had a Weakness Our Little Angel Invasion Hit Parade Turpentine Miracle Man A Voice in the Dark The Greatest Thing Satellite Hand in Hand Clubland Tart Glitter Gulch Stations of the Cross Science Fiction Twin Possession This Sad Burlesque Flutter and Wow Soul for Hire After the Fall Blue Chair Monkey to Man Mouth Almighty Watch Your Step ...This Town... Distorted Angel Worthless Thing No Dancing Miss Macbeth Charm School Poor Fractured Atlas Brilliant Mistake My Little Blue Window Suspect My Tears Coal Train Robberies Fish 'n' Chip Papers I Hope You're Happy Now Man Out of Time 13 Steps Lead Down Go Away Sweet Pear The Name of This Thing is Not Love Jimmie Standing in the Rain The Deportees Club The Birds Will Still Be Singing Starting to Come to Me Pay It Back Five Small Words Pretty Words Radio Silence Human Hands Night Rally I'll Wear It Proudly Motel Matches Drum and Bone Harpies Bizarre Nothing Clings Like Ivy Why Won't Heaven Help Me Next Time 'Round The River in Reverse A Room with No Number Clown Strike The Invisible Man My Most Beautiful Mistake All the Rage The Town Where Time Stood Still Episode of Blonde e of Blonde No Flag A Slow Drag with Josephine That Bridge I Burned Sour Milk Cow Blues You Little Fool Spooky Girlfriend Suit of Lights There's a Story in Your Voice Dishonor The Stars The Other Side of Summer Mischievous Ghost They're Not Laughing at Me Now White Knuckles Honey, Are You Straight or Are You Blind? Black and White World The World and His Wife
God's Comic The First to Leave Green Shirt The Man You Love to Hate Lip Service American Gangster Time Blame It on Cain The Spell That You Cast Lipstick Vogue The Difference Stella Hurt Tears before Bedtime |